"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." -Viktor E. Frankl
Some have suggested that man's highest drive is pleasure or power, and all that he does is attributed to one of these motivations. We are tempted to adopt this psychology when we see excesses of pleasure-seeking or power-grabbing in our society.
Viktor Frankl , a famous Psychotherapist and author of "Man's Search for Meaning," suggested man's highest drive is to find meaning in life. He also explained that meaning-frustrated people default to pleasure-seeking or power-seeking to find happiness.
Contrary to the pleasure or power ideas, Frankl suggested meaning and happiness cannot be found for the seeking, but rather are a by-product of three activities:
Deeply experiencing a person or a thing.
Doing a work/creating something of lasting value (occupation, avocation, etc).
Choosing one's attitude amidst inescapable suffering.
He referred to these as the three meaning values: experiential, creational, and attitudinal.
What is remarkable is that these three activities are based in the present, and therefore these are values of the Now. To deeply experience someone, we must be fully present with them. To create something of lasting value, we must be present with our work. To choose our attitude while in pain, we must be present with our pain.
If we are present with a person, a work, or our pain, we will not identify with our egoic mind. We will not dwell on the past or fantasize about a better future. And in so doing, we stumble upon happiness.
"For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it." -Viktor Frankl
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Intentions
As is the custom in our society, I've been asked several times if I have made any resolutions for the New Year. Actually, I have not. No, I'm not perfect--far from it--and yes there are things I would like to improve on in my life. So why no resolutions?
I have found that intentions are so much more powerful than resolutions. Sure, it sounds like semantics; I assure you it is not. Let's take a look.
Resolutions come from a place of recognizing that there is something about me that I do not like, and I should change. Resolutions do not come from a place of acceptance of what is, but rather from a place of making a judgement of what should be. It is me making a judgement, creating conflict inside of myself.
On the other hand, intentions are born out of a desire to do something because I want to do it. Intentions are congruous with who I am on the inside and what I value and therefore do not create conflict. Value shifts almost always precede manifestation.
For example, I valued a healthy lifestyle long before it manifested in my life. It was something kept trying to change with shoulds. I should exercise. I should lose weight. Finally, I released the shoulds and just said, "You know, I intend to run. I want to run. Being a runner is on my 'bucket list.' Why not start now?" And I did.
I didn't set any should barriers for myself. I just went for a run. I liked how it made me feel and I did it again. And again. And I said, "I wonder how far I can run today? I wonder if I can go a little further?" And I did. "I intend to run today," became my self-talk. Not, "I should run today." I'd never get anywhere with that sort of self-talk.
And you know, when you intend to do something today, and you don't make it happen, there's no judgement. But, if you should do something, and don't, man the judgement is harsh. And it's like getting behind on studying. Eventually, you try to cram (which doesn't work) or just give up.
Do you see the difference?
What do you intend to do this year?
I intend to run a half-marathon. And if I don't, no problem.
I probably will.
Be kind to yourself!
Namaste.
Marc
I have found that intentions are so much more powerful than resolutions. Sure, it sounds like semantics; I assure you it is not. Let's take a look.
Resolutions come from a place of recognizing that there is something about me that I do not like, and I should change. Resolutions do not come from a place of acceptance of what is, but rather from a place of making a judgement of what should be. It is me making a judgement, creating conflict inside of myself.
On the other hand, intentions are born out of a desire to do something because I want to do it. Intentions are congruous with who I am on the inside and what I value and therefore do not create conflict. Value shifts almost always precede manifestation.
For example, I valued a healthy lifestyle long before it manifested in my life. It was something kept trying to change with shoulds. I should exercise. I should lose weight. Finally, I released the shoulds and just said, "You know, I intend to run. I want to run. Being a runner is on my 'bucket list.' Why not start now?" And I did.
I didn't set any should barriers for myself. I just went for a run. I liked how it made me feel and I did it again. And again. And I said, "I wonder how far I can run today? I wonder if I can go a little further?" And I did. "I intend to run today," became my self-talk. Not, "I should run today." I'd never get anywhere with that sort of self-talk.
And you know, when you intend to do something today, and you don't make it happen, there's no judgement. But, if you should do something, and don't, man the judgement is harsh. And it's like getting behind on studying. Eventually, you try to cram (which doesn't work) or just give up.
Do you see the difference?
What do you intend to do this year?
I intend to run a half-marathon. And if I don't, no problem.
I probably will.
Be kind to yourself!
Namaste.
Marc
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Happiness Catalyst
What happens when 10 authors who have never met each other come together via a social medium like Twitter and collaborate on creating a free e-book? You end up with a phenomenal book like The Happiness Catalyst.
The Happiness Catalyst is the brainchild of Dave Ursillo who recruited authors via social media site Twitter to submit original works with the intention of encouraging the reader to re-engage their communities and find happiness in the process.
Download your copy here:
Free e-book: The Happiness Catalyst
Read more about the genesis of this book:
The Happiness Catalyst: Reconnecting with Community
The Happiness Catalyst is the brainchild of Dave Ursillo who recruited authors via social media site Twitter to submit original works with the intention of encouraging the reader to re-engage their communities and find happiness in the process.
Download your copy here:
Free e-book: The Happiness Catalyst
Read more about the genesis of this book:
The Happiness Catalyst: Reconnecting with Community
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Value of a Day
Every person in this life has something to teach me — and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening. --Catherine Doucette
On Saturday night, I was standing outside of a church hall, waiting for people to come to an event I planned. I'm one of the coordinators for a contra dance in Eastern Connecticut. (Contra dancing is a form of dance that was popular in New England in the 18th century, and it evolved from early English and French country dance forms.)
While standing in the parking area, one of the old timers heard me marvel about how quickly the Summer had passed. I mused out loud about how it seemed impossible that we could be entering into a new dance season so soon (We take the Summer off from dancing). It seemed like only days before that we finished the last season, when in fact, it was months since we last danced.
I asked him why life seems to accelerate as we grow older--rhetorically, not really expecting a substantial or valuable answer. His response floored me. He said, "When you were one year old, a day was a significant part of your lifetime. Today, a day is but a small fraction of a much longer lifetime, and in contrast--it seems to move very quickly."
How profound.
I was reminded to listen to everyone, as I never know when someone might offer something wise. I will cherish his profundity for many years to come.
On Saturday night, I was standing outside of a church hall, waiting for people to come to an event I planned. I'm one of the coordinators for a contra dance in Eastern Connecticut. (Contra dancing is a form of dance that was popular in New England in the 18th century, and it evolved from early English and French country dance forms.)
While standing in the parking area, one of the old timers heard me marvel about how quickly the Summer had passed. I mused out loud about how it seemed impossible that we could be entering into a new dance season so soon (We take the Summer off from dancing). It seemed like only days before that we finished the last season, when in fact, it was months since we last danced.
I asked him why life seems to accelerate as we grow older--rhetorically, not really expecting a substantial or valuable answer. His response floored me. He said, "When you were one year old, a day was a significant part of your lifetime. Today, a day is but a small fraction of a much longer lifetime, and in contrast--it seems to move very quickly."
How profound.
I was reminded to listen to everyone, as I never know when someone might offer something wise. I will cherish his profundity for many years to come.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Balance
I've had a desire, over the years, to learn to exercise through running. It's never seemed to work for me, despite repeated attempts. When I ran, I was barely able to go a half mile with out losing control of my breathing. I would run a little ways, until my breathing went out of control, and then I would need to walk for a while. I repeated this pattern frequently.
I gave up trying to run about five years ago, when a friend stopped exercising with me due to a knee injury. In the subsequent years, I moved from a physically demanding job to working behind a desk. I gained some weight and generally felt pretty lousy about my health. Determined to get back in shape, I started attending Yoga classes this past November.
Yoga is a good fit for me and I attend class frequently. In the process, I have practiced some breath-work. As Spring came around this year, I decided to give running another attempt. Much to my surprise, I didn't seem to have any problems with control of my breathing during my runs. Over the Summer months, I went from running 1.5 miles, to 3 miles, and settled into a 4.5 mile routine for quite some time. Just recently, I've increased to a 6 mile run, several times a week.
From a breath perspective, I don't seem to have any distance barriers in my running. I certainly have some speed barriers; but, these barriers will be overcome gradually. From a muscular-skeletal standpoint, increased distance certainly takes its toll on my legs, but they are strengthening.
The most exciting developments, from my running, is my increased health. I've lost over 20 pounds and recorded a significant drop in my pulse and blood pressure. In fact, I was recently taken off of blood pressure medications for the first time in 15 years!
As a whole being, we must not neglect any part of our self. Yoga has taught me a great deal about balance. We come from an unseen singular place and live in a seen, dualistic world; therefore, we require balance. I'm enjoying this journey of developing my balance.
I gave up trying to run about five years ago, when a friend stopped exercising with me due to a knee injury. In the subsequent years, I moved from a physically demanding job to working behind a desk. I gained some weight and generally felt pretty lousy about my health. Determined to get back in shape, I started attending Yoga classes this past November.
Yoga is a good fit for me and I attend class frequently. In the process, I have practiced some breath-work. As Spring came around this year, I decided to give running another attempt. Much to my surprise, I didn't seem to have any problems with control of my breathing during my runs. Over the Summer months, I went from running 1.5 miles, to 3 miles, and settled into a 4.5 mile routine for quite some time. Just recently, I've increased to a 6 mile run, several times a week.
From a breath perspective, I don't seem to have any distance barriers in my running. I certainly have some speed barriers; but, these barriers will be overcome gradually. From a muscular-skeletal standpoint, increased distance certainly takes its toll on my legs, but they are strengthening.
The most exciting developments, from my running, is my increased health. I've lost over 20 pounds and recorded a significant drop in my pulse and blood pressure. In fact, I was recently taken off of blood pressure medications for the first time in 15 years!
As a whole being, we must not neglect any part of our self. Yoga has taught me a great deal about balance. We come from an unseen singular place and live in a seen, dualistic world; therefore, we require balance. I'm enjoying this journey of developing my balance.
Monday, April 26, 2010
The End of Suffering
"Does God exist? The Buddhist is likely to answer,'It really doesn't matter one way or another since the human predicament remains the same in either case. Our job is to dispel illusion and alleviate suffering.'" - Richard Hooper
It probably comes as no surprise when I suggest the world is full of suffering. Just about any exposure to the daily news reveals countless stories of tragedy and horror. We find there are millions of people living in squalid conditions, going hungry, and suffering from physical traumas or disease.
Most faith traditions, as well as many secular relief organizations, actively minister to those who are physically suffering in the far reaches of the world. This is, of course, entirely appropriate and honorable. All of us would do well to support these efforts in any manner possible.
Yet, might I also suggest that there is a great deal of suffering among the wealthiest and most successful people of the world? In fact, there is suffering among our friends, families, and neighbors. There is suffering in our own hearts.
Our job is to alleviate suffering. Yes, sending money to humanitarian relief organizations is a wonderful idea; however, it does not end suffering. Sending money simply provides temporary physical relief, and suffering continues. Why?
According to some Eastern traditions, there are five main causes of suffering:
1. "Not knowing your true identity."
2. "Clinging to the idea of permanence in in a world that is inherently impermanent."
3. "Fear of change."
4. Identifying with the socially induced hallucination called the ego."
5. "Fear of death."
(Deepak Chopra)
Isn't this interesting? Wouldn't you have expected a list like this?
1. Bigotry
2. War
3. Famine
4. Greed
5. Lack of education
When I hear of organized secular or religious groups striving to end suffering, I think of people actively engaging the issues on my second list. Yet, these Eastern faith traditions teach us that physical suffering is secondary to spiritual suffering--represented by the first list. In other words, the second list represents symptoms of suffering, whereas the first list represents root causes.
Eastern faith traditions suggest our job is to dispel illusion and alleviate suffering--in our own hearts. We are called to transcend space, time, and cause-and-effect by coming to realize our core consciousness is immortal (D.Chopra).
By recognizing that we have all come into this physical world from the same Source and that we are all connected on the level of our highest consciousness, we begin to value new things: love, peace, and fulfilled meaning--to name a few. And in inculcating these new values, we become the change we want to see in the world.
Indeed, suffering must end. It must end in our hearts.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy
It probably comes as no surprise when I suggest the world is full of suffering. Just about any exposure to the daily news reveals countless stories of tragedy and horror. We find there are millions of people living in squalid conditions, going hungry, and suffering from physical traumas or disease.
Most faith traditions, as well as many secular relief organizations, actively minister to those who are physically suffering in the far reaches of the world. This is, of course, entirely appropriate and honorable. All of us would do well to support these efforts in any manner possible.
Yet, might I also suggest that there is a great deal of suffering among the wealthiest and most successful people of the world? In fact, there is suffering among our friends, families, and neighbors. There is suffering in our own hearts.
Our job is to alleviate suffering. Yes, sending money to humanitarian relief organizations is a wonderful idea; however, it does not end suffering. Sending money simply provides temporary physical relief, and suffering continues. Why?
According to some Eastern traditions, there are five main causes of suffering:
1. "Not knowing your true identity."
2. "Clinging to the idea of permanence in in a world that is inherently impermanent."
3. "Fear of change."
4. Identifying with the socially induced hallucination called the ego."
5. "Fear of death."
(Deepak Chopra)
Isn't this interesting? Wouldn't you have expected a list like this?
1. Bigotry
2. War
3. Famine
4. Greed
5. Lack of education
When I hear of organized secular or religious groups striving to end suffering, I think of people actively engaging the issues on my second list. Yet, these Eastern faith traditions teach us that physical suffering is secondary to spiritual suffering--represented by the first list. In other words, the second list represents symptoms of suffering, whereas the first list represents root causes.
Eastern faith traditions suggest our job is to dispel illusion and alleviate suffering--in our own hearts. We are called to transcend space, time, and cause-and-effect by coming to realize our core consciousness is immortal (D.Chopra).
By recognizing that we have all come into this physical world from the same Source and that we are all connected on the level of our highest consciousness, we begin to value new things: love, peace, and fulfilled meaning--to name a few. And in inculcating these new values, we become the change we want to see in the world.
Indeed, suffering must end. It must end in our hearts.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy
Saturday, April 10, 2010
To Observe Without Evaluating
"I don't fear heresy anymore, I fear hypocrisy all the more."-Dezi Baker.
Many people go through a radical or fundamentalist stage in their life, whether religion or lifestyle. Most of us know people who spend all of their time at church, the gym, or something similar. Usually this occurs when we're relatively young and idealistic, but certainly can take place at any stage in life. Sometimes it's the result of some significant emotional event, e.g. cancer, loss of a loved one, etc..
I'm no exception. The peak of my fundamentalism was in my late teens/early twenties--during a time when I lived in a foreign country for two years. My life has been a steady journey away from fundamentalism since. This is not to say that I have no faith. To the contrary, I have grown greatly in faith; I have simply shed religion.
One of the things that seems to often accompany the radical or fundamentalist stage is being judgmental (evaluating). It's natural to think less of others when we're so committed to a creed or doctrine, when they're not on the same path. After the radicalism begins to fade (often with age), the evaluation habit lingers, and does not seem to abate as quickly. It is here that hypocrisy begins to creep into our lives.
It is my intention to only judge myself, with love and grace. I intend to not evaluate you, your life, or your cause as either good or bad. I will not march in your parade, save to promote your unalienable right to be self-directing. It is you who gets to choose your own path. I honor the spirit that is within you. Namaste.
"To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence."~Jiddu Krishnamurti
Many people go through a radical or fundamentalist stage in their life, whether religion or lifestyle. Most of us know people who spend all of their time at church, the gym, or something similar. Usually this occurs when we're relatively young and idealistic, but certainly can take place at any stage in life. Sometimes it's the result of some significant emotional event, e.g. cancer, loss of a loved one, etc..
I'm no exception. The peak of my fundamentalism was in my late teens/early twenties--during a time when I lived in a foreign country for two years. My life has been a steady journey away from fundamentalism since. This is not to say that I have no faith. To the contrary, I have grown greatly in faith; I have simply shed religion.
One of the things that seems to often accompany the radical or fundamentalist stage is being judgmental (evaluating). It's natural to think less of others when we're so committed to a creed or doctrine, when they're not on the same path. After the radicalism begins to fade (often with age), the evaluation habit lingers, and does not seem to abate as quickly. It is here that hypocrisy begins to creep into our lives.
It is my intention to only judge myself, with love and grace. I intend to not evaluate you, your life, or your cause as either good or bad. I will not march in your parade, save to promote your unalienable right to be self-directing. It is you who gets to choose your own path. I honor the spirit that is within you. Namaste.
"To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence."~Jiddu Krishnamurti
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